


Aberrant

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Issues, Doctor Kuroo Tetsurou, Doctor Oikawa Tooru, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Pro Volleyball Player Iwaizumi Hajime, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, You Have Been Warned, but I have feelings so they are going to take the brunt of this burden, i love these idiots, this is going to hurt, what have I done?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6518446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi will forever regret suggesting they split up for university. He had always assumed that he would someday meet Oikawa again on the Pro Volleyball Court. </p><p>Now that he's finally found him, he's not letting go. But Oikawa still has secrets, ones that could send them spiraling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All_My_Characters_Are_Dead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_My_Characters_Are_Dead/gifts).



Hinata had never liked hospitals. The mere smell of antiseptic set him on edge even in the middle of a mall. Under normal circumstances, a healthy Hinata would never be caught in a hospital. Except these weren't normal circumstances. No one was dying, thankfully, but his parents had needed him to take Natsu to her check up while he was in town and of the few things that could triumph over his hate for hospitals, his love for his sister was one of them.

Next to him, Natsu cheerfully swung her legs, knowing she would get one of the sugar free lollipops from Tetsu-sensei.

Hinata was practically shaking in his seat as a nurse came out to call for Hinata Natsu.

Natsu popped up with a big smile, ready to see Tetsu-sensei and get her lollipop.

Hinata followed his skipping sister and trembled like a leaf as they followed the nurse down the hall to an examination room. He did not calm down as they sat there for only a surprising 10 minutes before a nurse came in to do preliminary exams or during the 20 minute wait for the doctor to come afterwards.

Natsu was chattering at her brother, completely oblivious to the older boys discomfort, until finally there was a knock on the door.

Shouyou let out a squawk before the door clicked open revealing a familiar face.

"Rooster Head!?"

Kuroo grinned.

"Yo, Chibi-chan!"

Hinata practically flew out of his seat in excitement.

"What are you doing here?!"

Kuroo let a terrifying grin take over his face, before he replied.

"Obviously, I'm the wonderful doctor of Hinata-chan here!"

He grinned down at the girl who was practically bursting at the seams at the sight of her favorite doctor.

"Tetsu-sensei!"

"Hey there Hinata-chan! How have things been since I saw you last?"

Shouyou was boggled that he hadn't know that Kuroo Tetsurou of all people was his sister's doctor. 

"Why are you even in Miyagi?"

Kuroo kept smirking at Hinata enjoying just how thrown the kid was.

"I work here, duh."

"But! But HOW? AND WHY HERE? AND WHEN DID"

"Nii-chan, not so loud!"

Shouyou meeped, his sister pouting at him as he ducked his head. He was an adult, an excitable adult, but an adult and he knew better than to shout in a doctor's office.

Kuroo giggled in satisfaction. 

"I see who wears the pants in this relationship. Well, missy, let's go ahead and get you checked over so you can get your lollipop!"

Natsu grinned in return.

As Kuroo began checking Natsu's heartbeat and the sound of her lungs, Shouyou looked on in curiosity.

"So... uh.... Doctor?"

Kuroo's shit eating grin returned as he glanced at Hinata.

"Yup, a doctor. I got a good position here in Miyagi, too. Made some good friends here and got some great patients."

At this he turned to Natsu to give her a more genuine smile.

"Like Hinata-chan here. Very cooperative and always a pleasure! Now say 'ah'."

Natsu complied and as Kuroo went to check her throat for any signs of illness he continued talking to Shouyou.

"As to why a doctor, college leads you down some weird roads. You start out in science and suddenly you're at graduation with a medical degree."

Shouyou didn't really get how you could get that confused about what you were supposed to be studying but Kuroo had always been a confusing human to Shouyou. He'd been pretty baffled by Kuroo in high school and Shouyou hadn't assumed that he would get any less confusing as time went on. He'd been correct in that assumption.

"I hear from Bokuto you're on the Pro-circuit?"

Shouyou popped back up.

"You still talk to Bokuto-san!?"

Kuroo laughed at him.

"I would hope I still talk to my boyfriend, yeah."

At that precise moment made that noise he sometimes makes that is purely from his gut and sounds a bit like he's been punched really hard as stars appeared in his eyes.

"I didn't know you and Bokuto-san were together! How long have you been together, how long have you"

"Nii-chan! You're getting over excited again."

Shouyou snapped a hand over his mouth and counted to 20 in his head. Once he felt calmer, he took a deep breath and continued. Kuroo just giggled into his hand before deciding to give mercy to the poor ginger.

"We got together in college, not much changed besides the whole kissing thing, so I understand why you hadn't heard."

Kuroo's face did not get any less mocking for how sincerely he said it. He snapped his clipboard closed and addressed both siblings.

"Well that looks good. You, Hinata-chan, pass with flying colors! It says here that all your paperwork has been filled out so you should be good to go." 

Kuroo graced Natsu with one last genuine smile and a lollipop as he opened the door and gestured to a nurse to show them out.

"We should hang out, Shorty. Just talk to Bokuto about it and we'll get something together."

Shouyou just nodded as he tried to keep track of sister not even noticing that Kuroo had just called him short.

It was as Shouyou followed his bouncing sister out to the parking lot that he caught sight of someone everyone he knew had been looking for for years.

The Grand King, Oikawa Tooru, was standing in the outside with a staff badge clipped to his shirt and a coffee in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of was trying to write Natsu as a like 10ish year old? Her age is probably a little fudged. Also it's hard to refer to the siblings without making it confusing.  
> Some research told me that Japanese Medical School is a 6 year program in college so I'm just going to go with that. It fits well with the timeline I want.


	2. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata only gets a little sidetracked in telling Iwaizumi that he found Oikawa. Just a smidgen sidetracked. Really.

The strange thing about changing leagues from say, high school to college or college to the pro league, was that suddenly, the person who was your mortal enemy could suddenly be your teammate. One such instance was how, in a fit of hilarity, fate had decided to put Bokuto, Hinata, Kageyama, _ and  _ Iwaizumi at the esteemed Tokai University. Even worse, they four had all, against all the odds in the entire world, ended up on the same professional team. The other players were honestly a bit scared of them occasionally. 

Probably the worst to date instance to date, was the time they finally made it to their match against Nittaidai only to find someone missing from the opposing team. The resulting destruction via Iwaizumi had not been pretty and had only escalated when he found that Oikawa’s phone number (which had been working perfectly fine the week before) was no longer in service. Oikawa’s teammates and coach had been just as in the dark about Oikawa’s absence as the rest of them and it left a ball of worry sitting deep in Iwaizumi’s gut. It was like a bowling ball had been strapped to his chest, and breathing became so much harder now that he had lost track of his  _ Idiot  _ best friend. 

A week later, Iwaizumi had tried to contact Oikawa’s sister to no avail and as the issue refused to resolve itself, he began recruiting his fellow teammates to the cause. Soon enough, they started to convince their friends to be on the lookout for the missing setter.

But as a month dragged into a year dragged into seven years without finding hide nor hair of Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi started to give up on ever finding his best friend again.

_ The number you have dialled had been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try your call again. _

In one tiny message, Iwaizumi Hajime’s world had shifted, because his axis was suddenly gone.

\------

“IWAIZUMI-SENPAI!” 

Hinata was running towards Iwaizumi at literal top speed with no indication that he might, say, stop before he bowled Iwaizumi over completely. Now, Iwaizumi had two choices here, he could A) step out of the way and let Hinata run head on into the wall behind him thereby protecting himself but more than likely giving Hinata a nosebleed or B) he could use years of experience with a nuisance that liked to throw himself places and try to keep them both from being hurt in the collision. 

Iwaizumi was weighing these two options when suddenly an option C made itself known as Bokuto came crashing onto the scene in an amazing display of over enthusiasm for one’s kouhai.

“Shouyou! Why don’t you ever greet me like that?!” The pout Bokuto was sporting was could stop bunnies in their tracks for guilt, it was really no wonder that it worked on Hinata.

“Bokuto-san! I-I, you see, well the things is, um, I, t-there was something important I had to tell Iwaizumi-senpai and….” Hinata looked vaguely like the words might actually strangle him.

“And why do you keep calling us that! We’re friends now Shouyou, you have to call me Koutarou!”

And just as he had done every time Bokuto had brought the subject up before, Hinata looked a little like he had been smacked upside the head with a frozen chicken. It was a very odd expression on the young man, though not exactly unfamiliar to his fellow team members. It was kind of his default expression for a lot of things, the blankness of the stare was the real touch that set it apart from other people’s confused stares. 

Hinata’s team members had learned that while the young man was by no means stupid, his communication skills had developed in… odd ways. It was usually delegated to Bokuto to communicate complicated thought processes to the lad as he seemed to be able to channel that wave of comprehension. It was usually delegated to Iwaizumi to communicate complicated thought processes to Bokuto. Really, it was just a long telephone game of communication.

As usual when he was startled, Hinata’s mouth fell back on the first thing that came to mind. 

“I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE DATING LANKY-SAN!”

Bokuto’s head did that thing where it tilted a little too far and made him resemble the horned owl he was named for. 

“Well of course, Tetsurou and I have been dating since college.” 

Iwaizumi could practically hear the “duh” at the end of that statement. He hadn’t actually known that either but he definitely was not going to make a spectacle of himself like Hinata currently was.

“But-but you’re so nice and he’s so… conniving.” Hinata looked genuinely confused as to how Bokuto could possibly be dating Kuroo of all people. The concern was so obvious with every word that Iwaizumi just kind of wanted to tuck him into a blanket. 

Man, he really needed to get those mother hen instincts under control now that he didn’t have Oikawa to keep in line. They were going to get him in trouble if he let them convince him to baby his teammates. 

Bokuto, on the other hand, just laughed at Hinata’s lack of faith. 

“Well that’s what makes us work! The differences! Who wants to be with someone just like them?”

Hinata’s face was pure concentration as he let that tumble over in his mind before he ever so slowly started to nod.

“I… guess that does make sense.”

“How’d you even see Tetsurou? He’s all the way in Miyagi for work, we only get to see each other on our off days.” Another distinctive pout made its way onto Bokuto’s face, displeasure at only getting to see his boyfriend every few days making him immediately less happy that he normally was. 

“I had to take my sister to the doctor and Lanky-san  _ was _ her doctor! I didn’t even know he went to school for that, but now he’s in the hospital at home, which he’s not even  _ from _ , taking care of my sister! Is he a good doctor? Did he score well in school? He better be if he’s going to be taking care of Natsu!”

Hinata was working himself into a frenzy just thinking about someone incompetent being something as important as his sister’s doctor. How dare someone look after his little sister and be  _ bad _ at it. He’d fight them right here, right now. 

Bokuto laughed again with his entire body.

“Oh, don’t mind! Tetsurou got like, perfect grades all through college. He’ll take good care of your sister. I’ll make sure of it!”

At the end, he struck a pose. Hinata did his usual “ooh”ing and “aah”ing over how “cool” Bokuto was and how “reliable” Bokuto was, unknowingly fueling his older teammate for weeks to come with his praise. 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. Unfortunately, it was usually best to just let the two of them go until they wore themselves out. Trying to deter them from distraction was ultimately just another distraction in and of itself. 

Finally, Hinata seemed to think over how good of a doctor Kuroo might be for his baby sister.

“I guess he was pretty knowledgeable. And my sister really likes him as her doctor. He even got us out of there pretty OH!”

The sudden explosion of noise from Hinata sent half the gymnasium looking at them where all their previous conversation had been deemed normal and thusly ignored.

“IWAIZUMI-SENPAI! I SAW HIM! I SAW DAIO-SAMA AT THE HOSPITAL WITH A STAFF BADGE ON!”

And with one sentence, Iwaizumi Hajime’s life shifted for a second time.


	3. Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's plannin' time! Hanamaki and Matsukawa may be even more determined to get their friend back than Iwaizumi is.

The first people Iwaizumi told about finding Oikawa, even if he had yet to even see so much as a picture of him, were Hanamaki and Matsukawa. The two of them hadn’t been quite as vocal about their worry, but Iwaizumi knew that they had been worrying about what could have happened to their friend.

Mattsun and Makki had taken the news exactly as expected, with absolute blankness and then teasing.

“WE FINALLY FOUND YOUR BOYFRIEND, IWA!” 

Their grins were annoying, Iwaizumi kind of wanted to punch them, just a little bit. Iwaizumi knew that if he tried to tell them otherwise though, they would just amp up the teasing to actual unbearable levels. 

“Wait, wait, wait. So you guys found him at a hospital, right? Does that mean he’s a doctor?” Hanamaki’s face seemed to light up with joy,” are you gonna play doctor with him, Iwa?”

And thus the endless cycle of teasing began.

“You could be his nurse couldn’t you, Iwa?” Matsukawa winked at him.

Why were these assholes his friends again?

20 minutes later when the harassment still hadn’t died down, Iwaizumi decided he’d had enough. 

“Look, are you two going to help me figure out how to approach him or not?”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki actually looked kind of stunned for a moment.

“YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY TALKED TO HIM!?” 

“ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!”

Hanamaki and Matsukawa spun to stare each other down. Determination taking over their faces in an instant. Iwaizumi would regret this, he just knew it.

“Planning time!”

\-----

A single light bulb hung down in the middle of the boiler room where Makki and Matsun had set up their “base of operations”. 

Iwaizumi wasn’t sure where they had found the whiteboard, or how they had printed off pictures from the hospital’s website so fast but there they stood with a staff photo of Oikawa staring back at him.

At the top of the board in bold letters read the words “OPERATION: IWAOI REUNION” which Iwaizumi was ignoring with all his might. 

Underneath it, was the staff bio off the website, vague and absolutely uninformative. The only information it provided them with was that he had, in fact, graduated from Nittaidai. Little notes had been made off to the side about anything else they had been able to glean off the website. 

Hanamaki was standing in front of the board with his arms crossed. 

Matsukawa lurked behind him with a party popper in hand.

“Now, this needs to be planned carefully.”

“What the hell have you two done? Where did you even  _ get _ a whiteboard? Why can’t I just  **talk to him** ?” 

“Oh, Iwa, Iwa, Iwa, do you really think you could just go up to him and start talking?”

Okay, so Hanamaki had a point there. It had been at least 7 years since he’d last gotten a chance to talk to Oikawa and with his sudden disappearance, Iwaizumi wasn’t sure he would know  _ what _ to say if he had the chance. He’d kind of given up on finding his best friend. 

He had no clue what he would say. Heck, he had no clue what he would even do, or even how he would approach attempting to talk to Oikawa.

“Exactly. Now shut up and accept our help.”

Matsukawa nodded his head decisively before adding, “We are here to help you win back the heart of your dearly beloved. Just let us help.”

Iwaizumi sighed in exasperation.

“I’m going to regret this but fine. What have you got?”

The pairs grins could blind a person in that moment. 

If either of them had been inclined to honesty in that moment, they had been… almost heartbroken when Oikawa disappeared. He may not have meant the same to them as he did to Iwaizumi, but he was their friend and his disappearance had taken it’s toll on them. 

They had spent those first several months searching literally everywhere they could think of. Matsun and Makki searched high and low to find even a hint of Oikawa. They had even tried over and over to get in touch with the sister Oikawa had been living with since his parents death when he was 14. 

It had been a bad year.

“You, my dear sir, are going to get an appointment. As it turns out  _ we _ have an inside man who can set it up so you get ‘accidentally’ assigned to Oikawa at the last minute.”

Hanamaki made sure to look Iwaizumi dead in the eye as he explained the plan to draw Oikawa back into their world.

“Now, and this is important, you  **have** to make sure to invite him out for drinks. I don’t care how much he says ‘no’, we have to get him to go out with us. Matsun and I will be available literally any day to make this work. We are not losing him again!”

Iwaizumi hadn’t actually known they were going to be so… invested in dragging Oikawa kicking and screaming back into their lives. Usually they were so, blase about things, though if he had really thought about it, he would have known they would put everything they could into this. Iwaizumi knew he wasn’t the only one affected by Oikawa’s loss and he had never presumed to hurt more than anyone else.

“Who is this  _ inside man _ of yours?”

Hanamaki started to laugh, “it turns out Bokuto’s beau is a good ally in our plot.”

“The Kuroo guy?” 

“Yep, he’s going to get us in the door discreetly, and then so long as you don’t screw anything up we can go ahead with our super secret plan to  **get you two together** !”

Matsukawa popped the party popper directly towards Iwaizumi’s face, because he’s an asshole like that. 

“Now wait just a minute, that’s not”

“You’re appointment is two days from now. Be there or we will eviscerate you ourselves. Gotcha?”

Hanamaki’s grin took on a distinctively vicious edge. 

Iwaizumi gulped at the threat of violence looming in his friends eyes.

“Gotcha.”


	4. Conniving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oikawa."
> 
> "Iwaizumi."

Oikawa had been trying his best to dodge Utaka-san all day. Sure, it was flattering in a sense that she kept coming in every week to see him for any minor thing she could justify actually needing a doctor for. The common cold couldn't catch that woman with how often she was there. But, he decidedly did not want to date her. Though to be fair, she seemed less interested in dating and more interested in... other things. That was beside the point. If he had to perform one more breast exam on that woman he might actually scream.

So, he'd been dodging Utaka-san with all his wit and cunning, neither of which he was lacking in, when Kuroo caught him in the hall.

"Hey, so..."

"What do you want?"

They had played this game maybe a thousand times since they started working together at Miyagi Central Hospital. One of them would need something and automatically try to apply the charm that came so naturally to them. This was, naturally, instantly shut down by the other.

Kuroo grimaced.

"Bokuto's here for to say goodbye before he heads back to Tokyo. I need, like, 20 minutes but I have a patient."

Oikawa lifted a brow.

"And you need me to take them on my break so that you can go have a quickie with your boyfriend before he leaves."

Kuroo's grin was utterly unapologetic.

Oikawa sighed.

"It's gonna cost you."

“A week of coffees.”

Oikawa squinted at Kuroo, that had been too easy. The little shit was up to something. He scoffed.

“Fine. But the good stuff, no skimping.”

Kuroo’s grin turned up to about a thousand watts as he saluted and started to gather the patient file Oikawa would need.

“Sankyuu~!” Kuroo shoved the file at Oikawa as he rushed to get himself out the door, “The sooner you get in there the better, it should be pretty upfront, just a regular check up. He has been waiting for a while now though.”

Oikawa wondered why he was friends with this asshole again. He kept himself to a single frustrated sigh as he took the file from Kuroo.

“BYE!”

Kuroo beat a hasty retreat while he still could, wouldn’t want to be around when Oikawa discovered exactly who his newest patient was.

Oikawa on the other hand decided to get this over with so he could save at least part of his break from conniving friends.

It wouldn’t be until he opened the door that he realized he’d been set up.

\-----

Iwaizumi had been sitting in the examination room for nearly 20 minutes and each second made his stomach twist tighter and tighter until he felt like he might actually pass out from the tension. 7 years without Oikawa and now, suddenly, only a door separated them.

If Oikawa didn’t show up soon, Iwaizumi might actually need a doctor for the stress ulcer that was forming in his gut.

The click of the door opening practically sent Iwaizumi spiraling off his chair.

Oikawa’s hair hadn’t changed a bit, but he was actually wearing his glasses instead of the contacts he, well, used to favor. They were new glasses too, replacing the ones that Iwaizumi had helped him pick out when they were 16. The only sign of aging on Oikawa’s face was the bone deep exhaustion that seemed to hang off him.

(Most people wouldn’t have even noticed Oikawa was tired, but even years and miles and silence couldn’t uproot how well Iwaizumi knew his former best friend’s body language; the slight hunch of his shoulder’s, the slow blink of his eyes, and the absolute falsehood of the sparkle in his eyes spoke volumes.)

Oikawa had yet to look up as he spoke and Iwaizumi realized that he had been so concentrated on taking in every detail of the face he hadn’t seen in years that he had completely missed what Oikawa was saying.

“...so I’m afraid I’m not as up to date on your medical history as him but I’m sure we can make this work.”

It was at this point that Oikawa finally glanced up at his latest patient. The reaction was instant, every muscle tensed in a mix of surprise and well disguised horror before being forced into complete blankness.

(Iwaizumi saw every emotion that flashed across that face and understood them.)

Silence followed. Oikawa begged any and every being of power he could think of that this was not happening. Iwaizumi prayed that he wasn’t dreaming with all his might.

“Oikawa.”

“Iwaizumi.”

That stung deep in Iwaizumi’s chest. He should have expected it, but somehow it had never occurred to him that the first reaction might not be a too-high-pitched ‘Iwa-chan’. He should have known. They weren’t teenagers anymore. It hurt like nothing else.

Silence ensued once more.

Finally, Oikawa took a deep breathe. He held it for 8 beats before releasing it and plastering on the fakest smile Iwaizumi thinks he has ever seen in his life.

“Please don’t do that.”

Oikawa’s face fell again.

“Don’t what?”

Iwaizumi wanted to cry. God, this was so much harder than he had ever fathomed it possibly could be.

“Don’t fake smile at me. I know you’re upset.”

Oikawa’s face almost looked… amused, in the saddest way.

“If anyone gets to be upset here, it’s you. I know I disappeared and I know you have to be angry with me.”

Oikawa was doing that horrifying thing where he’d stopped keeping a tight control over his body’s reactions and began shrinking back in guilt and shame and fear and his eyes refused to raise from the floor and Hajime suddenly wanted to punch something because he had been the one to make Oikawa look like that. He had done that.  
Iwaizumi’s hand reached out without his consent to grab Oikawa’s wrist. Oikawa flinched but didn’t tug away.

“Tooru, look at me.”

Oikawa’s eyes slowly came up to meet Iwaizumi’s eyes, to find them watery and so very sad.

“I’m not mad. I was at first but you just disappeared and, god, you could have been dead Tooru. I was so scared that I’d lost you forever and would never find you again. That you had died when I wasn’t there and I would never, ever be able to see you again because I’d let the stupid ass idea to split up get into my head. I couldn’t find you anywhere and no one else could find you and I couldn’t, I couldn’t live with myself Tooru, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you and I wasn’t there. God, but you’re okay and I just, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

Oikawa wrapped Iwaizumi in his arms and Iwaizumi buried himself into the other man’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so very, very sorry.
> 
> All complaints should be directed to my tumblr: catastrokey.tumblr.com


	5. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to look up.

Iwaizumi was sobbing. It was okay though, because Oikawa was sobbing too. At some point a nurse had come to peek in on them only to backpedal so fast you’d think she’d walked in on someone doing it. Maybe she didn’t handle tears well. Maybe she had known they needed a few minutes. Either way, Hajime had been more than glad when she retreated.

When one of them finally pulled back, they didn’t even bother to hide their tear tracks or red eyes. But as sniffles died and tears ceased, the pair of them could not look each other in the eyes. 

“Iwa-chan, I…”

The words practically pierced him through the heart. Oikawa was so hesitant, so soft spoken when he said the nickname. Iwaizumi felt the urge to cry more tears that he didn’t have.  

“Iwa-chan, I can’t… explain, really, what happened. I don’t think I’m ready but, but… Iwa-chan…”

“It’s okay, I get it. You don’t have to explain, just don’t pull that shit again.”

Just like that, his beautiful best friend finally smiled at him. It was so blindingly bright and in that moment, Iwaizumi swore he would never let this go.

\-------

So the actual medical examination kind of fell through for those first 20 minutes.

(God, it had only been 20 minutes. 20 minutes of emotion and terror and anxiety that gave him his best friend back.)

Eventually, however, Tooru had remembered that despite the history and emotions of the moment he still needed to do his job.

The following 20 minutes were, awkward to say the least. Having Oikawa performing his medical examination was… weird. A kid he had watched cry over a squirrel that their mothers’ wouldn’t let them keep when they were 6 was now a competent doctor. 

Iwaizumi spent the time Tooru was checking his blood pressure and heart beat and breathing to take in every detail up close. The way Tooru’s eyelashes fluttered when he blinked. The way his hands were so steady against Iwaizumi’s chest, despite how shaky they had been before. The way Tooru’s eyes were still a bit glassy from tears. 

By the time they were done, Iwaizumi had memorized every detail of Tooru he possibly could, just in case. 

“Okay, it says here that you should be all paid up so don’t worry about stopping at the desk.”

Tooru glanced up at him, face unreadable even for Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi had to take his chance, now.

“Come out with us Friday.”

Oikawa looked so startled that Iwaizumi was overcome with the urge to hold him or something, comfort him in any way he could.

“Hanamaki and Matsukawa will be there. They really missed you.”  _ I really missed you _ , he doesn’t say because he doesn’t need to. His face says it well enough for him.

But Oikawa hesitates. 

“I’m… not sure if I can make it.”

Iwaizumi is ready for this, the only part of Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s prep that actually stuck with him through the sight of Oikawa after so long. 

“Then here’s my phone number so that when you find out when you can come, you can let me know.”

The hope plastered all over Iwaizumi’s face made Oikawa want to punch  _ himself _ for making this man feel like that. Oikawa couldn’t get any words out in the face of it, instead opting to simply nod his head. 

No more words were said as Iwaizumi left. 

\------

“I’m going to murder you.”

So the plan had been a success then. Kuroo turned to his favorite doctor with naught but a smile on his face.

“I’m going to kill you and I can do it slow and painful. I’m a doctor, dammit, I know what kills people.”

Ah, the pleasant sound of death threats in the afternoon. 

“Excuse me, is there a problem here?”

Both of them slapped on their best pleasant smiles as their supervisor eyed them suspiciously.

“No, no, we’re good.”

Aoyama-sensei gave them a  _ look _ but let it pass. 

“Don’t take too long on your breaks.

Aoyama-sensei left and therefore didn’t see Oikawa spin around in silent outrage. Kuroo’s infuriating grin failed to leave under the pressure of Oikawa’s ire. 

“I moved your break for you, made the one you take a 5 extra long.”

_ Screw Kuroo and his thoughtfulness _ , this was exactly how he’d made his way to best friend status. 

“I still hate you.”

“Sure you do. Be sure you tell him I'm responsible for the extra time!"

Kuroo’s smug ass was definitely getting locked in a supply closet this week.

\-----

Iwaizumi was literally shaking as he stepped out of the hospital. So, it was lucky that Hanamaki and Matsukawa had found time to pick him up, and drop him off, and generally freaking stake out the hospital like the pair of creeps they were. 

They ambushed him before he could even make it to where they had parked. Instead pulling up next to him and practically dragging him into the car for interrogation. 

“First of all, did you make contact?”

Jesus christ, these two…

“Yes, I talked to him. I gave him my number. I didn’t pressure him into an answer. All just like we practiced.”

The two stared him down before nodding in approval.

“Good. The option will make him consider without trying to straight up get out of it. If he can’t make it Friday we can get him another time this weekend. Matsun can make contact next if all else fails.”

Matsukawa nodded at his partner in crime.

“We start out small before we integrate him back into the group. All goes smoothly, we should have him regularly in our lives within the month.”

Iwaizumi has kind of terrified of Hanamaki and Matsukawa. They were far too good at this for anyone’s safety.

“AND THEN WE CAN COMMENCE PHASE 2!”

A mom walking by their idling car flinched away and directed her daughter to the other side of her body as they passed by. 

Great, now they were terrorizing the populace around them. Iwaizumi always knew it was just a matter of time before they became official public nuisances, he just hadn’t thought he’d be a part of it.

The security guard was eyeing their car suspiciously now,  _ great _ .

“Guys, he hasn’t even called or texted me. He may not even want to come. Hell, he may not even want to see me ever again. One moment in a doctor’s office doesn’t change the fact that he disappeared for years and we aren’t in each other’s lives anymore.”

His phone dinged.

022-266-XXXX:  _ Hey, I figured that since I have your number now, you should have mine. ~Tooru _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited to start slowly revealing the secrets! I'm not sure if the hint was subtle yet obvious enough...


	6. Telephone Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who knew volleyball players were such gossips?

Iwaizumi-senpai appeared to be walking on air.

Kageyama hoped he had used that phrase right.

It felt like it fit the subtle joy that filled Iwaizumi-senpai’s every move. The older man was practically freaking bouncing with joy and Kageyama wanted to know why.

Yeah, he was nosy. What of it?

He had always looked up to Iwaizumi-senpai. Even before the “incident” in middle school, he wanted to toss to Iwaizumi-sempai. Watching him in high school, how much Iwaizumi-senpai had improved while working beside him, he had to admit to himself that he used to have a crush on the spiker.

Not that he had a crush on him now! He has a boyfriend, thank you very much!

Said boyfriend picked that moment to literally bounce up to him.

“Kageyama! Toss to me! I think I almost have that new… why are you glaring at Iwaizumi-senpai?”

Shit!

“He seems… unusual.”

Hinata shined even brighter at the chance to share his news. Kageyama assumed he would be blind by the time he was thirty just from looking at the shorter boy.

Thank goodness he wasn’t chatty. If he ever said that out loud Hinata might actually spontaneously combust.

“Well, yeah. Didn’t you hear?”

Hinata was looking at him like he was an oblivious dumbass. Offense taken.

Kageyama settled for a glare rather than a verbal answer.

Hinata’s responding eyeroll was well practiced.

“Gah, why does your face always do that?”

“WHY DOES MY FACE DO WHAT!?”

The ensuing fight might have (read: absolutely) got them 50 suicide runs.

It wasn’t until they were both lying on the floor, finally too freaking tired to cause a ruckus, that Kageyama remembered they had actually been discussing something.

“Why does Iwaizumi-senpai look so happy?”

Hinata lolled his head over to give him a, very tired, incredulous look.

“He found Oikawa-san!”

Well, shit.

\------

Kageyama and Nishinoya hadn’t necessarily clicked during their first year as teammates. Not that they hadn’t gotten along, but there hadn’t exactly been any closeness between them.

That had changed during Kageyama’s second year on Karasuno. It had been a weird time for Kageyama, discovering his feelings for Hinata and finding himself loosening up almost involuntarily around his team but unsure what to do with this newfound comfort.

Nishinoya was a blessing that year.

He had practically rained down from the sky in heavenly senpai-ness.

So the first person Kageyama told was Nishinoya senpai.

Nishinoya may have had the strangest reaction of the day.

“PLAN IWAOI IS A GO! I REPEAT IT’S A GO!”

\-----

“SUGA!”

Oh lord, here comes Noya.

“SUGA YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED!”

The following words were almost incomprehensible for the amount of verbal sound effects that happened in between words that might have been actual explanations and tangents that led to nowhere all spoken at the speed of light. Because why would Noya need to slow down?

Eventually, Suga was able to piece together the possible explanation from the few words he did get all of which were “kid” “hospital” “Oikawa”

“Found”.

As Noya bounced off to tell the next person he saw the exciting news, Suga decided to extrapolate from what he had. He thought his explanation was pretty reasonable.

\-----

By the time the day was over, Daichi had heard at least four different versions of the story of Oikawa’s grand reappearance. Not a single one of them matched the others. Literally the only thing they all had in common was that Hinata was there, Oikawa was there, and Iwaizumi was aware of this.

Whether Iwaizumi had made contact was a topic up for hot debate.

Frankly, Daichi decided it wasn’t his business and if the those involved decided it was, then he would become invested.

So he totally didn’t try to call Hinata for an update on mission IwaOi. Not at all.

\------

As it turns out, word has a way of traveling fast among their former volleyball rivals. Soon enough, Terushima of all people is nosing around trying to find out more about Oikawa's abrupt reappearance in an out of the way hospital in Miyagi. Of course, word had been somewhat diluted and Terushima had initially thought that Oikawa was in a coma on said hospital, but things had quickly been cleared up. That didn't stop Sugawara from inquiring about Oikawa's secret child that he had been taking to the hospital when Hinata happened to be there.

(How that mix up between who was taking a kid for a check up had occurred in the verbal distance of two middlemen, they would really never know.)

Any version of the story they heard, though, contained a single unifying truth. They had finally found Oikawa.

Iwaizumi got a lot of congratulations that week.

But every single "congratulations" and "I'm happy for you" made Iwaizumi more nervous about messing this up.

He wasn't stupid. He knew he probably had one chance to make this work right here and now and if he messed this up there was no turning back.

They weren't kids anymore, both of them had jobs and lives and friends that were completely separate from each other. There would be nothing making them come together if this didn't work.

God, he wanted this to work so bad.

\-------

Oikawa wanted this to work so bad.

He had missed Iwaizumi so much. Every time a new obstacle would appear, every time he pushed himself past the limit, every time he saw a cute Godzilla toy in the store, he would turn to the spot his best friend of a lifetime had always occupied and find no one there.

He'd made a decision that day, that he wouldn't drag Iwaizumi into this mess. He made a decision to let Iwaizumi live his life, become a pro or whatever he wanted to be without worrying about the shitshow Oikawa's life had become.

Not that it was a bad life, just one with a lot of struggling.

Iwaizumi didn't need to struggle through it with him though. He could face normal college student and then pro volleyball player struggles. No need to burden him with problems that weren't his own.

That's what Oikawa told himself, at least.

Maybe it had been easier in some way to at least not feel guilty that he might be holding Iwa-Chan back.

Maybe he just couldn't bear the thought of having to tell Iwa-Chan what happened.

Maybe he still can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to all be in Kageyama's P.O.V. but after days of struggling to get the brat to cooperate, this came together in less than an hour after I gave up on his being the only P.O.V. of the chapter.


	7. Alarms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kenma is a good friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Theme song unlocked: Alex & Sierra - Scarecrow  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8R8oATk7NU
> 
> BEWARE THE NEW TAGS!

Tooru was going to throw up. He couldn't do this, the nerves were going to eat him alive before he could even begin to approach the end of his work day much less approach a bar. There was just no way he was going to be able to face Iwaizumi and Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

The only reason he hadn't backed out by now was Kuroo. The other man was strangely invested in Oikawa going to this... gathering.

Oikawa had yet to decide if that meant he was going to help or hurt the situation. Either way, Kuroo would be "accidentally" locked in a broom closet in the near future. He always loved locking Kuroo in closets, it only served him right for being such a god damn instigator.

It was really a good thing Kenma chose that moment to walk by.

“Tooru, why are you hiding behind the nurse station?”

Tooru did not jump, because even when he was surprising someone, Kozume Kenma was so very soothing presence, probably because he never let anything affect him.  

This also had the negative effect of Tooru practically bursting into tears upon spotting his favorite network analyst.

Fortunately, Kenma was familiar with the emotional rollercoaster that was Oikawa Tooru.

Kenma carefully tugged Tooru into the nearby break room, checking to make sure it was empty before flicking the lock closed. He turned to Tooru, who was trying very hard to not cry. 

"How much sleep did you get last night?"

Tooru most definitely did not want to tell Kenma that he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep for all the anxiety that was eating him up. He had tossed and turned and even taken a melatonin far later than he should have. It hadn't worked even the slightest bit. Instead he had gotten up at 5 a.m. to cook breakfast with bags under his eyes and a lag to his step.

Tooru's silence spoke for itself though. Kenma glared at the idiot before him. He was lucky he had friends like Kenma and Kuroo to keep him from running himself into the ground sometimes. The guy never seemed to know when to break and rest. Perserverence only get's you so far when you're dead on your feet. 

Kenma sighed.

"Look, you only get teary when you're tired so,  _you_ are going to take a  _nap_ in the on-call room." 

"But my patients!"

"Nope. You are taking at least an entire hour to sleep. Yachi will understand, none of us want a sleepy doctor walking around here."

Tooru didn't exactly look happy with that declaration. 

"Before any of that, you are going to tell me what's bothering you."

Tooru was usually much better at holding out but lack of sleep and a desperation to tell someone about his worries overwhelmed him easily.

"I'm going out tonight with Matsun, Makki, and Iwa-chan. Except I don't know if I can do this, Kenma. It's been so long and I just left without saying anything to them. God, they still don't  _know_ Kenma. They don't know what happened and why I... they don't  _know_ Kenma and I don't know if I can tell them. How can I explain how...? How do I tell them about it? How do I explain why _I dropped my friends without a word? But I can't just back out now! Kenma, I don't know what to do! I can't disappoint them but I-I don't think I can do this."_

Tooru's words had sped up to an alarming speed along with his breathing. He was freaking out and Kenma needed to calm him down now before this got to a point where he needed a doctor. Guess it's a good thing they're in a hospital.

"Woah, woah, woah. Okay, how about this? I will come with you to the wherever it is you're meeting them. If you still don't think you can do it,  _I'll_ go in and tell them. If you still want to meet them some other time, we'll figure it out but for now you need to lie down before you have a panic attack."

Panic attacks were rare, but not unheard of in their resident ball of nerves. They usually waited until he was alone though. That suave facade usually took over until he could get alone and have a meltdown but somewhere along the way Kenma found himself among the total of two people that Tooru trusted enough to lower his guard around. 

Tooru was breathing so hard and trying so desperately not to cry despite the tears welling up in his eyes. 

"Breath, Tooru."

He did just that, trying with all his might to match Kenma's calm breathing. 

"Okay?"

Tooru only nodded in response. 

"Okay, we're gonna get you a couple of hours of sleep and then we can deal with all of this however you need."

Tooru nodded again, his voice silenced in the crash of emotions.

"Okay, here you go."

Kenma wiped the few stray tears away with his sleeve. 

"Come on."

Kenma calmly tugged Tooru out of the door and towards the on-call room. He nodded to Yachi, their administrator, as they passed the nurses desk. Tooru's slumps were few and far between now but they weren't completely unfamiliar to them. Yachi knew how to handle it.

They had all kind of known that this was coming.

Iwaizumi Hajime was a sore spot for Tooru. 

As Kenma made sure that Tooru actually laid down in the on-call room instead of staying up worrying more, he contemplated when he had become the kind of person who took care of his friend as they had a panic attack.

The truth was, he always had been, he'd just had so few people he considered close that he hadn't discovered it before. Kuroo certainly didn't needed maintaining like this. 

Not that he would do this for just anyone. Tooru was part of their family, as makeshift as it was. 

Did that make Kuroo and Bokuto his brothers? 

He hoped not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, the panic attack thing is mostly pulled from personal experience but I feel very much like Oikawa has some serious anxiety issues in that head of his. The middle school "incident" felt a lot like a panic attack to me. So, I pulled from my experiences with anxiety to get us here.


	8. Divorce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru finally makes it to the bar. Casual friend abuse ensues.

Kenma stood next to Tooru in front of a low key bar downtown. The man beside him looked significantly better than he had a few hours ago. Sleep and a back up plan had settled his nerves by a lot. Now standing in front of the bar, he kind of thought he might be okay. Iwaizumi had already texted him to let him know that the other three had arrived 5 minutes ago. 

“You good?” 

Tooru thanked every power that be for Kozume Kenma. He was a blessing in very quite packaging. Kenma’s years of Kuroo handling had led him to a great level of tolerance for the unexpected. Not that he enjoyed the unexpected, but you got used to weird things when they remained a constant in one’s life. 

“Yeah, I think I can do this. Thanks for getting me here.”

Kenma nodded, better him than certain others interfering. 

(Kuroo had an agenda, okay? He was not to be trusted. Bokuto would undoubtedly help him. Kenma took a moment to bask in the glory of being ace and never having been in danger of being attracted to either of those two.)

“Well then, go in there and get him.”

“KENMA!” 

\----

When the door opened, all three of them not so subtly whipped their heads around to stare. Oikawa emerged from the doorway as they all tried desperately to not look like they were staring.

Note: They were unsuccessful.

Oikawa approached them anyway, it was kind of nice to know they were still idiots.

Iwaizumi was floored. He’d been so distracted by Oikawa’s presence in the doctor’s office that he had completely missed how good the other man looked. His hair hadn’t changed much, but he had slimmed a little from lack of volleyball workouts. Not that he wasn’t muscular because hell, that would be an outright lie. The clothes he wore looked well made, but also well loved and the hoodie jacket he’d thrown on was the same one he’d worn so often in high school. It was nice to see something so familiar mixed in with all the new. 

Iwaizumi immediately scooted further into their round booth so that Oikawa could have an outside spot. 

As Oikawa sat down, Iwaizumi scooted a water towards him, not having known what kind of drink he might have wanted. 

“Thanks.”

It was so soft and shy and very un-Oikawa that it practically ripped Iwaizumi’s heart out. He glanced desperately at Matsukawa and Hanamaki to help. Makki took that as his cue.

“So, Oikawa, a doctor?”

Oikawa laughed lightly but the tension didn’t leave his shoulders. 

“Yep, Miyagi Central.”

The air around them felt oppressive and thick; conversation stilted and fragile in order to avoid the giant elephant in the room. 

Oikawa swirled the water as he chewed his lip. He used to be so close with these people and now he couldn’t even attempt to start up a conversation. 

Makki was, once again, their savior.

“Okay, let’s just get right to it. We always thought you would at least try to get us in the divorce!”

Iwaizumi watched in awe as Tooru’s shoulders loosened. 

“Why would I want to keep troublesome children like you?”

“MOM! You can’t just say things like that to us! We’re your children!”

“When exactly did I become your mother? I thought Iwa-chan was the mom here!”

“NO! He’s definitely our disapproving father figure. You’re definitely the mom friend.”

Matsun took this as his chance to join in the casual bullying.

“Yeah, you have, like, all the mother’s intuition and stuff. Iwaizumi is our grumpy dad who doesn’t understand the kids these days and their fancy lingo.”

Iwaizumi was starting to see it. That could only mean bad things. Did he stop it or join in? 

“You did mom the hell out of Takeru’s volleyball class.”

Apparently he was joining it.

Something flickered across Tooru’s face before hiding back behind his eyes. 

“Well, I certainly don’t want to be the parent of incestous twins now do I?”

“Hey! We weren’t even together!”

Tooru stood to go to the bar, winking as he threw out one more jibe.

“Oh, but you were so very obvious. We all knew.”

Tooru strutted off to the bar, not bothering to look back at the relieved faces of his friends. Matsun and Makki turned to Iwaizumi in their places to stare him down. 

“Were we actually that obvious.”

Iwaizumi just nodded his head. They had been beyond obvious, they were practically broadcasting it in high school. 

“Well, you and Oikawa were just as obvious.”

“If not more.”

It was cute when they got defensive, they were so bad at it. 

“You guys might as well have taken out a billboard in front of the school you were so obvious. It’s a good thing you married each other. I don’t think anyone could have handled any more freaking ridiculous mutual pining.”

Makki appeared to take personal offense to that.  
“Okay, now you’re just being mean.”

“Yeah, pot calling the kettle black much?”

Iwaizumi loved it when they gave him openings. 

“So you admit you were super freaking obvious?”

“WHAT? NO!”

Ah, the sweet sound of defeat. 

When Tooru finally made it back from the bar, Matsun and Makki were still trying to reassure each other that they hadn’t been that obvious while Iwaizumi just watched on in amusement. 

By the time Tooru’s phone buzzed with a text asking him if he needed an out, he was was comfortable giving a negative response. 

“Who’s that?”

Iwaizumi tried to get a glimpse of the screen but Oikawa turned the screen off before he could sneak a peek. 

“Just, uh, Kenma.”

It may have been years since they were inseparable, but Iwaizumi could still tell when Tooru was lying. 

“Oikawa, tell this idiot that doctors have a secret code word for ‘idiot with a problem’.”

But he would let it go, for now. 

“Well, there was this one time that I had to call a nurse because a some idiot managed to get a remote stuck up his…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another chapter to the bar scene but I don't like chapters that are too long or too short. Plus I'm bad at witty banter. It'll take me time.


	9. Flare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. - Robert Burns

Hanamaki was laughing his ass off. Tooru had  _ stories _ , and good ones too. Apparently for all Miyagi was calm as far as hospitals went, they still got some of the most ridiculous stuff. 

 

Just in the past year, Tooru had apparently pulled several unspeakable things out of people’s butts, had to inform several patients that that was  _ NOT _ the way you took certain medications, and had to give the safe sex talk to a retiree. 

 

The atmosphere had lightened as the conversation drifted easily into their current daily lives. No one pushed for more information than the talker was willing to give and somehow that made more information flow out of all of them. The former stiltedness was gone, vanished into a comforting haze of familiarity.

 

This was so alike the daily gathering at lunch. As Oikawa cheerfully chattered, Hanamaki took every opportunity to poke fun at “mom and dad” as Iwaizumi grunted in protest and Matsukawa would grin salaciously at them when something particularly suggestive was said. 

 

If you’d asked any of them whether they could cry in that moment they would all vehemently deny it. They’d all be liars. 

 

Occasionally, Oikawa would look down at his phone as it lit up with a text message. At one point, Iwaizumi tried to catch a glimpse at who it was only to see nothing in the name place beyond a poop emoji and a good number of hearts. 

 

Oikawa had quickly tilted the phone away from him before he unlocked the phone.

 

Iwaizumi guessed that was just another thing he was going to have to ignore for the sake of keeping the peace. 

 

“Who ya texting? Is it your dearest darling lover?”

 

Hanamaki apparently had no such qualms.

 

Oikawa just laughed it off. 

 

“I have exactly zero time for a relationship and I’m not exactly looking to change that. Hell, I think I wouldn’t know what to do with a relationship at this point if I was in one.”

 

What Iwaizumi and Oikawa weren’t privy to was the internal  _ parade _ Matsun and Makki started throwing because  _ there was no significant other and Plan A was totally a  _ **_go_ ** . 

 

They were also not privy to the mass text that went out approximately 10 seconds later declaring just that. Matsukawa was a surprisingly subtle texter. Spread across Miyagi and Tokyo, several volleyball players, current and former, cheered. 

 

Several other current and former volleyball players sighed, knowing that chaos was about to ensue and no one would come out unharmed. 

 

Little did they know that there was a very important factor none of them could possibly know they needed to factor in. After all, they still didn’t know why Oikawa had disappeared. 

 

All of these things remained unknown to two of the tables occupants though and instead they were distracted by Iwaizumi’s scoff. 

 

“You’ve always known how to handle a relationship. Well, with that one exception.”

 

Tooru’s indignant expression was worth all the chances of driving him away by picking at him. Iwaizumi’d missed riling Tooru up.

 

“It’s not my fault that we had a tournament on her birthday!”

 

“Yeah, but you didn’t even celebrate before hand.”

 

“We had practice!”

 

Iwaizumi smirked at Tooru, knowing he would win this argument. He always had.

 

“Remind me, what was it she said when she dumped you?”

 

“Okay, so I may have cared about volleyball more than her but I was a stupid kid! You can’t keep holding this against me!”

 

Iwaizumi laughed.

 

“Aw, it’s good to have mom and dad getting along. Now we can tell everyone else to start bugging the shit out of them again.”

 

It was Matsun who threw out the jibe this time. 

 

Oikawa shook his head just before his phone lit up with another text. As he glanced down his face changed to surprise. 

 

“I didn’t realize it was that late. Man, I have to be up early too!”

 

Iwaizumi glanced over in concern. Matsun and Makki got an evil look on their faces. 

 

Trouble was brewing. 

 

“Well, it’s such a bad part of town and all. You should definitely let Iwa-chan escort you to your car.”

It would have been innocuous if it hadn’t been for the eyebrow wiggle and the absolutely lecherous grin on both of their faces. 

 

But it really wasn’t the best part of town at night and Iwaizumi really was a bit paranoid about losing Tooru now that he’d found him. 

 

So, despite the obviously non virtuous intentions on Matsun and Makki’s faces, Iwaizumi walked Tooru to his car. 

 

It was, quite possibly, the most awkward interaction of his life. 

 

Neither of them really said anything as they got up from the booth and made their way outside. Not a word was said as they turned to the parking lot to the side of the building. 

 

It wasn’t until Tooru was unlocking his car that Iwaizumi got the courage to speak up. 

 

“Tooru.”

 

Tooru’s shoulders tensed, his entire body language going tight like a spooked animal. The turn of his body was rigid and stuttering. 

 

“Iwa-chan.”

 

Tooru glanced up, his eyes wary as they flicked up to meet Hajime’s own. This was so intimate and yet so distant all at the same time. He hated it so much.

 

“Tooru, I… I’m glad you came.”

 

Tooru let himself nod. No words would come out in response, no matter how much he desperately wanted to intervene in this. 

 

“Look, I know things aren’t the same and you’re in a different place now, you’re practically a different person but I just want to go back”

 

“Wait.”

 

Hajime had been slowly gaining volume and speed but a whisper from the man in front of him was all it took to cut him off. Tooru was biting his lip, the words he knew he needed to say almost impossible to force out.

 

“We can’t go back.”

 

Hajime felt like he’d been slapped in the face. 

 

“I know that it would seem easier but, we’re not who we were seven years ago. You were my best friend then but, Hajime, we’re not  _ them _ . I can’t pretend that nothing has happened. Too much has changed, you know that.”

 

Add a punch to the gut to that slap and maybe that approximated how much those words hurt. He hadn’t exactly had much muster behind the plan in the first place but, he’d at least wanted to go back to being best friends even if the rest of it didn’t work out.

 

“I just want to be friends again.”

 

Tooru looked so weary and sad. Something in those doe eyes pitied Hajime like he had never felt before. They spoke of some experience that Hajime couldn’t even fathom.

 

“Maybe we can be that again, but it’s going to take time.”

 

The emotions in that sentence were painful but if Hajime knew one thing about this Tooru, it was that he wouldn’t have said that if he hadn’t meant it. Tooru took one last look at him before opening his car door. 

 

“I’m sorry, Hajime.”

  
Just like that, Tooru left Hajime standing outside a bar feeling like his heart had been ripped out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is a little harsh but I swear there is a plan and he will acknowledge that.


	10. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi takes time to cool down from his emotions.

The more Hajime thought about it, the more he wanted to punch Oikawa. That wouldn’t make the mix of  _ painangerhurt _ any easier.

Oikawa had denied they were even friends anymore. He knew more about that asshole than possibly any other human being on the planet and the dick wouldn’t even call him a friend. So what if he didn’t know much about his current life. That’s what spending time together was for. That ginormous piece of shit had just brushed off all of their history like it was nothing. Sure, he hadn’t been there for whatever the bastard had been through but he hadn’t exactly been given a choice by the exact fucker that was now denying their friendship.

Iwaizumi needed to punch something. Preferably not a person so he wouldn’t get arrested. Yeah, not getting arrested would be a good step forward. 

So instead of going back into the bar with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, both of whom would somehow make themselves immediate targets of their anger just by being their obnoxious selves, Iwaizumi made his way to the nearest community gym to exercise his feelings out. 

The rhythm of his punches, the burn in his legs as he swung them into brutal kicks, and the swinging of the punching bag were hypnotic in their calming effect. As he released his anger with each hit he felt himself relax. Sometimes he needed this release from the anger that would build within him. Frustration that bubbled and built up for days would push him to limits until he could finally felt better by working his feelings out in a gymnasium. 

At this point, volleyball hardly counted as soothing. For years, despite how many good memories it held, the game had just reminded him of how much he had lost from right under his nose. He’d kind of thought that might change soon, maybe it still would. 

There was a pounding in the back of his skull. The feeling of his blood racing filled his ears and brought his left his body thrilling with something other than emotion for the first time in weeks. 

Hajime finally dropped his hands, grabbing clumsily at the straps of the  bandage protecting his knuckles. As they unraveled, he tossed them aside, deciding to pick them up after he'd cooled down. 

He picked up a mildly damp towel, slapping it across his face as he slumped onto a bench. 

He felt better, but there were still so many emotions swirling through his chest. A ball of pain had formed right in the middle of his gut and sat heavy, like a stone. Damn Tooru, even after so many years he could still bring out emotional intensity in Hajime that he'd thought were left behind in his teenage years. 

Hajime growled, snatching the towel from his face and throwing it violently into the air. It swirled in the air, arcing and waving and blatantly defying how much emotion Hajime had put into the toss. The towel merely deemed to float to the ground, practically taunting Hajime with it’s careless drop. 

He hated this, he hated how volatile he got when Oikawa was involved. He was a goddamn adult with an adult’s composure but that asshole crashed back into his life and suddenly he was a mess. His emotions were his and they weren’t supposed to betray him like this. 

And yes, he was aware that was kind of impossible. Didn’t mean he had to like it. 

Hajime ended up staring at the mirror on the wall across from him, meant to observe muscle work outs so as to improve one’s form and prevent injury. The man sitting there didn’t even look like him. It had been years since he’d seen that look in his own eyes. The fire of passion that only Oikawa set off in him. Much different from the high he got smashing a spike or seeing his family after weeks away, it  _ burned _ almost to the point of pain with how many feelings he held for one single person. 

Sweat was beginning to stick to his body, cooling and creating the awful feeling of tacky nastiness that meant he had truly worked himself hard. He could feel his muscles tightening and stretching as they came down from his work out. He’d need to stretch soon or he’d get stiff. Hajime glanced down. Well, more of himself would get stiff. 

He heaved himself up from the bench to gather his things before he stretched, feeling a nice burn in his legs from the kickboxing. He slowly rolled up the tape and towel, tossing them into his bag. 

He started to move himself into simple stretches. Normally by now his head was much clearer and while the anger had subsided, he still felt so jumbled up inside. Every emotion he had flying about as if a tornado had formed in his chest.

How did Tooru always do this to him? How did he know just where to hit him so he crumpled? The absolute dick knew how to make it hurt and he used that knowledge when he felt like it was needed. 

He’d been trying to push Hajime away.

Tooru said they’re not friends. 

But he couldn’t think about that now because that wasn’t true. Hajime knew it absolutely wasn’t true. Tooru was still his friend, he’d just been scared. Looking back on it now, he could see it in Tooru’s face. That certainly didn’t excuse his behaviour though. The asshole would certainly hear about being inconsiderate and a jerk. 

They were friends, Hajime just had to knock some sense into that pretty, dumb head of Tooru’s.

Tooru really did grow up pretty. Not that it had come as a surprise to any of them but before  _ the incident _ Hajime had found himself staring at big doe eyes and small confident smile. His ego had certainly calmed down and the new confidence rather than cockiness looked good on him. 

Hajime went to the shower and if he thought about doe eyes and a beautiful smile while he took care of himself, no one had to know. 

Shut up, don’t judge him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to make a chapter with no dialogue whatsoever.... 
> 
> Whoops?
> 
> Also Theme 2 unlocked: Bumper Cars- Alex & Sierra  
> (P.S. I almost made myself cry in the middle of the library thinking about what I'm going to do to these two while listening to this.)


	11. Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime and Tooru have another "talk" in the hospital.

Turns out that knowing where someone worked made confrontation a lot easier.

Iwaizumi had managed to sneak his way into the hospital to look for Oikawa. He was hoping to catch him on a break but would really take any opportunity he could get. He’d been sure to keep out of sight from Kuroo, just in case. He couldn’t be sure what side Kuroo was on and steering clear until he could sort things out with Oikawa seemed like the best idea. 

Suddenly he caught a glimpse of chocolate brown hair and Hajime gathered himself to chase after. 

Hajime managed to weave his way through the hall without losing sight of his target, slowly gaining ground. He really wanted to make sure that he didn’t catch him in a place that was too crowded, he was anticipating crying, at the least. Who would be the one crying? 

Good question.

As they entered another wing Oikawa spun around to grab Iwaizumi’s arm, dragging him into an empty patient room. Hajime heard the lock click behind them. He should have known he couldn’t tail Oikawa without being noticed. 

“Why were you following me?”

“We need to talk about the other night.”

A shadow fell over Tooru’s eyes, his body closing off at the mention of their fight. Hajime knew this wouldn’t be easy. It’s why he had taken the time to literally attempt an ambush.

“Look, Iwaizumi, I’m not going to take back what I said. We can’t go back, that’s it. Period.” Oikawa turned around to the door to make a dramatic exit. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to…”

“NO.”

This time, it was Hajime who grabbed Tooru by the arm. He spun the other man around to face him and backing him into the wall. Tooru was going to listen to him, dammit.

“Not this time. You aren’t going to just walk away without letting me finish. You don’t get to decide that this just won’t work by yourself. I’m here, too.”

Tooru had frozen in place, unsure what to do when he had been manhandled against the wall. Iwaizumi stared into the taller man’s eyes, knowing that what he was going to say was going to bring out emotions the other didn’t want to face.

“I don’t want to pretend like nothing happened. I want to go back  _ to being your friend. _ Because it doesn’t matter to me how long you’ve run from this, you  _ are _ my friend. So what if I don’t know everything about your life anymore, that’s what spending time together is for.”

Hajime was trying his best not to let his anger raise his voice. The next sentence came out as a whisper.

“You are not the only one in this and I won’t just stand by while you pretend you are.”

An oppressive silence overtook them, neither one having words to follow.

On second thought, maybe shoving Tooru against a wall hadn’t been the best strategy. Now they were stood, practically nose to nose, breathing each other’s air in the aftermath of Hajime’s words. Hajime took the moment to drink in as much of Tooru as he could. The way his nose still sloped perfectly. The way his eyes glowed with emotions and his jaw managed to look both strong and ever so delicate. All of Tooru was so strong yet soft, it had always dazzled Hajime.

Now, up close, Hajime could see that Tooru had actually grown a few centimeters since high school. It wasn’t much, Hajime still didn’t really have to tilt his head much to see directly into Tooru’s eyes, but it was enough that looking at him now he was so very consciously aware of the difference. Tooru was trying to avoid eye contact, some inner conflict pulling his eyes to the floor, except they were so close that he couldn’t in any subtle way avoid looking at Hajime. 

After a solid 3 minutes of silence, Tooru finally glanced up at him. 

“Iwaizumi, I… I’m sorry.”

“Iwa-chan.”

Tooru glanced up, startled. Hajime didn’t look mad, at all, but his eyes burned with determination. 

“Iwa-chan, I didn’t take your feelings into account and I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well I’m used to it, asshole.”

Tooru let loose a huff of laughter. His chest bumping into Hajime’s and bringing just how close they were back to Hajime’s attention. Tooru glanced down at Hajime’s arms, still holding his wrists to the wall.

Instead of releasing Tooru’s wrist, Hajime slid his hands down to the other man’s hands and let his head fall to Tooru’s shoulder. He couldn’t look at Tooru and see rejection when he said this. He wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

“If you really don’t want me in your life, tell me now. Because if you don’t say something now, I’m not going to give up. You’re going to be stuck with me. I’ll be even more obnoxious than high school you. So if you want out you have to say it now.”

Silence was not the answer he wanted, but it was better than rejection.

Tooru’s hands leaving his own was even less the answer he wanted. 

Hajime was just starting to pull away when arms came up to hug him around the waist and a face tucked itself into his neck. 

“I do.”

Oh god, was this a hug goodbye? 

Hajime felt his eyes start to water.

“I do want you to stay in my life.”

He could have collapsed with the relief that surged over him. 

“But it’s not going to be easy.”

Hajime could have laughed a man out of town at that. His reply was so natural, he didn’t even have to think about it.

“When has anything with you ever been easy?”

They chuckled, remembering sunny days of thrown volley balls and shouted profanities. Late nights talks about the future and stubborn insistence of their victory. Dreary afternoons spent in physical therapy and berating the others ability to take care of themselves. Tooru’s tendency to overwork his knee and Hajime’s inablilty to remember he needs to eat when he’s concentrating on something. Years of missing each other and now a week of emotional turmoil leading to this exact moment, being more than worth it to reunite with their best friend. 

For now, they stayed hugging onto each other for dear life in the quiet of a random hospital room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, the resolution was so hard to get right. I had to rewrite this so many times. 
> 
> Plus I've been trying to enjoy my week off between school and my internship so... lazy Catastrokey!


End file.
